Pink Hearse

I Will Want To Remember

I will want to remember this week.

When I’m in my forties and wish I had taken advantage

Of my youth more,

Or when I’m face to face with a gruesome death

And my life is flashing before me

I will want to remember this week.

I want to treasure forever the friends who gathered on Friday,

Their kindness and their energy.

Everyone dancing (or in my case trying to)

Everyone sharing their weed, their booze,

The burgers they walked fifteen minutes in the freezing cold to get.

New friends got along like old friends

And old friends swung each other around the dance floor

Laughing and falling all over the place.

Everyone brought their warmth, grinning ear to ear while

Cake was thrown, shots were taken

Outfits were complimented, cigarettes were bummed…

I wasn’t afraid people were judging me,

I wasn’t afraid to be myself,

Everyone was lovely and genuine and so I followed suit.

The next day I went with my family to see the

Boston Gay Men’s Choir Christmas concert

(And wondered if next year this seasonal performance

Would take place figuratively underground).

There were drag queens, dancers, a kick line,

And an ASL interpreter who was more entertaining to watch

Than the dancers most of the time…

The last song they sang was written during the civil war

And it was about how there could be no peace on earth this Christmas.

I didn’t cry because I had done my makeup that day

But oh man, was it difficult not to.

Then it was out for a pitcher of sangria

And delicious tapas with some very old friends.

Thoughts of work melted away this weekend

And I was reminded of why I am still in this city

Why I have not taken off to live out of a backpack somewhere

Surrounded by nature and foreign languages.

It’s more than having my roots here,

My happiness goes wherever my good friends go.

And being the hedonist that I am

What good would it do me to leave them before they leave this place?

I know it’s not long until my friends (once again)

Scatter to the corners of the Earth.

And I will make new friends and start over again but

I will always think about what I was reminded of this week

Which is that happiness is not an endgame or constant state of being,

It shines through your otherwise shitty life once in a while

And it comes from good company, good food and good music.

It’s not a place that exists anywhere but inside of yourself.


This entry was published on December 18, 2016 at 9:07 pm. It’s filed under Personal and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

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